


couldn't even get your shadow to stay

by xylomylo



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Gen, Teleport AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylomylo/pseuds/xylomylo
Summary: "Holy shi - Nayeon?" Jeongyeon yelps, covering herself up with a blanket.Nayeon blinks. Once, twice. The other girl was still there, staring at her with wide eyes, blanket haphazardly wrapped around her bare shoulders. There was definitely something else in Jackson's pot earlier, and it's fucking her up real bad.





	

 

It's one in the morning, and Nayeon's having the time of her life. They're at Jackson's mid-semester party where the entire school population gets invited (and gets wasted) because fuck midterms, really. Staying up two days in a row cramming for tests weren't the slightest bit fun. Besides, she needed the fresh air, and Jackson always throws bomb-ass parties.

 

"Unnie," she's suddenly smothered in a hug. "I think Sana-unnie is dead."

 

Nayeon laughs. Chaeyoung was always a clingy drunk, having to constantly be in close proximity of someone, and maybe it was her soft spot for the younger girl but she found it adorable. 

 

"She probably is," she looks towards the living room where Jackson and Jaebum are dragging Sana's seemingly unconscious body to the side. "Probably shouldn't have tried to chug a bottle in five seconds, right Momo?"

 

"Yeah, reigning champion's still yours truly!" The girl in question whoops loudly, eyes glossy, and they burst out laughing from where they were seated on the couch.

 

She just spent the last ten minutes laughing hysterically at Sana dirty dancing to Beyonce (right before she passed out), making sure Momo and Chaeyoung and everyone present had it on video because she wasn't sure she was sober enough to do it herself. Two years into university had her learning about the importance of blackmail material, and how it was always relevant no matter the situation.

 

"Urghh, I don't wanna wake up for dance tomorrow," Chaeyoung whines into her neck, and Nayeon feels the pleasant buzz of the alcohol leave her system a little. She's suddenly reminded of all the deadlines she has yet to meet, and the dreaded marketing project she's supposed to do, with one of Momo's friends whom she's supposed to meet tomorrow (today). Such is the life of an undergraduate.

 

"I need food," she declares, feeling a little woozy and stoned - probably from too much pot as the munchies kick in. Nayeon gently pushes the younger girl off her lap as she gets up in search of food -

 

and all but crashes into something warm and pliant. She looses her balance, reflexes numbed by the alcohol, and braces herself for the fall - 

 

But it doesn't come. Arms encircle her waist, and suddenly she's looking up into stormy grey eyes. Her stoned brain manages to process the fact that its a girl, and maybe its because her cheeks are flushed but  _wow she's really pretty._ There's a pause, and then, "Are you okay?" 

 

"Y-Yeah," she blinks, "I'm fine," and stands up straight. 

 

The arms around her waist loosen, and she almost misses it. "Sorry for that, I wasn't watching where I was going," the girl smiles, easy, brushing her short cropped hair to the side, and this must be what being starstruck felt like because her insides were turning into liquid. 

 

"Stop flirting with all of my friends, Yoo Jeongyeon," Momo chides from the sofa, with Chaeyoung now clinging to her like a koala. "Being pretty doesn't mean you can hit on everyone!" 

 

Jeongyeon throws her empty paper cup at Momo, but ends up hitting Chaeyoung as Momo dodges it like the snake she is. The younger girl whines and Nayeon is quick to pacify her while Jeongyeon fake-strangles Momo in an attempt to stop her shrill laughter ringing over the thumping bass.

 

"I think I'm gonna go, I've an early class tomorrow," Jeongyeon says, wheezing from the earlier commotion. "Tragic, I know."

 

Momo sulks, and waves her off drunkenly. "Who's gonna play beer pong with me now?"

 

Nayeon rolls her eyes at her best friend's antics, and politely waves goodbye. She tries her best to stop staring, but the lighting in the living room gives Jeongyeon's skin this weird ethereal glow, and she's pretty sure she's never seen someone who smiles with so much happiness.

 

Her eyes follow Jeongyeon's figure until it disappears through the kitchen door, and her stoned brain doesn't seem to pick up the fact that someone leaving should instead be heading towards the front door. Before she knows it she's on her feet, swaying, pushing her way through the crowd to get to the kitchen for food and she pushes open the door -

 

to find herself in a room, face-to-face with a stripping Jeongyeon.

 

 

"Holy shi - Nayeon?" Jeongyeon yelps, covering herself up with a blanket. 

 

Nayeon blinks. Once, twice. The other girl was still there, staring at her with wide eyes, blanket haphazardly wrapped around her bare shoulders. There was definitely something else in Jackson's pot earlier, and it's fucking her up real bad. She walks forward, swaying, hand outstretched.

 

"Are you real?" she asks, touching Jeongyeon's face. "I think I'm going crazy." 

 

She might actually be. The room seemed to be getting smaller, and her head feels too big for her body. 

 

Jeongyeon rips her hand off her face. "How'd you get here?" 

 

Exactly. Wasn't she supposed to be in the kitchen getting food? She was just looking for something to munch on, as simple as that.  Now she's in a weird room with - _green walls? Who even bothers to paint their dorm room?_   

 

 

_Wow._

Nayeon's eyes widened. It couldn't be. She's read about it before, from threads on Reddit that she got click-baited, and to think that it might as real as her barely-there-GPA -

 

"Oh my God," she ends up saying. "I think I just... teleported."

 

 

Jeongyeon's jaw drops.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

The sun's too bright. Way too bright. Her throat is scratchy and she feels like death. The floor is shaking. It's probably an earthquake, she reasons. Her phone vibrates for the nth time, and she gets herself together in time to pick up the call. 

 

"I'm surprised you're even alive," Momo drawls, and Nayeon already regrets everything.

 

"... What do you want?" she croaks. There's a marching band playing in her head, and her stomach feels weird. She doesn't have time for bullshit.

 

The other girl bursts into shrill laughter, and Nayeon holds the phone far away from her ear. "Well, I've already cancelled the project meeting you were supposed to be having... 20 minutes ago. Dinner's on you, sweetie."

 

Oh. The marketing project.

 

"Also, did you ditch Chaeyoung and I yesterday? We figured you probably did, after you disappeared and we couldn't find you. I'm glad you're alive, though."

 

Nayeon sits up too quickly, whiplash forcing her to close her eyes as she hisses in pain. Her hungover brain still manages to process the information relayed, and its times like these where she's eternally grateful for Momo's existence. She doesn't want to think about how different her life would be if they hadn't ended up as roommates in first year.

 

"... Yeah," she lies. "I'll make it up to your friend. And you, peachy," she manages, feeling more awake by the minute. "Dinner as usual?" 

 

Momo makes gross kissy noises in response and Nayeon takes the opportunity to hang up before the bile rises up in her throat.

 

(It quite literally does, when she realises she's in Jeongyeon's room, with a note at the side of the bed that reads _off to class, need to talk, call me_ and a number, together with a small heart scrawled messily.)

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

She doesn't call. 

 

Im Nayeon, well-known icon of living in denial and running away from all problems, lives up to her title. The note sits at the bottom of her bag, long crumpled but memorised. What was she supposed to do?

 

Coming to terms with the fact that she might be the living proof of a meta-human wasn't easy. Besides, she wasn't even sure it was real. It was probably the pot, nothing new. (She conveniently leaves out the fact that waking up in Jeongyeon's room was as much evidence as there is.) Between rushing to classes, she's been spending a significant amount of time doing her own research, (i.e Reddit) and finds many of the personal recounts hilarious.

 

(There was a guy who on multiple occasions, found himself in the middle of a park whenever he stepped out of his room. He later met his soulmate there, and attributed it to a soulmate-calling thing. What bullcrap.)

 

But then again she's convinced that the universe is out to get her, and she's reminded of this as she watches the books in her hand scatter all over the floor when someone crashes into her. It's as though all the karma she's accumulated in her lifetime punches her deep in the gut.  

 

"I'm so sorry!" The other person bows repeatedly, picking up her books in a flurry, handing them to her -

 

Nayeon freezes. It's Jeongyeon, mussed up hair sticking out weirdly. She's in glasses this time, and _since when do glasses make people look hot?_ The other girl must've recognised her as well, because she breaks out into an easy smile and -

 

"Oh, its you," Jeongyeon says. "Why didn't you call me?"

 

Nayeon smiles sheepishly and takes her books from Jeongyeon. "I - I must've forgotten, y'know. Assignments and all."

 

There's something about being this close to the other girl - her presence suffocating, a vice-like grip forcing Nayeon's brain to shut down, leaving her an incoherent mess. It has her feeling like baring her soul (against all rationality), and the words come out before she knows it.

 

"So... dinner later? We can talk then," Nayeon looks at anywhere but Jeongyeon. Her mind races, and she's never been this shy in front of anyone, not even strangers.  It's like she's twelve again, confessing to her first crush with clammy hands and her heart on her sleeve. 

 

But the smile she gets from the other girl is worth it, she decides, when she feels her lips quirking up of their own accord.

 

Jeongyeon's phone chimes, and the magic fizzles out when she realises she's late for class. 

 

"Yeah, I'll see you at six at the cafeteria, gotta go!" Jeongyeon pats her shoulder, pummels through the crowd and disappears in the blink of an eye, and Nayeon is left to process the fluttery nonsense in her gut that has her blood singing in a weird high.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

Turns out, the whole teleporting thing did happen. Jeongyeon _can_ teleport, and has been doing so for the past two years. She knows other people who can do it, and they form a little community on the internet where they share tips and theories. Kind of like a small club. It's cute.

 

"So... I'm not crazy," she says, after watching Jeongyeon teleport with her very own eyes.

 

"You're _definitely_ not crazy," the other girl laughs, eyes twinkling with mirth, as though she just shared a huge secret. Which she did.

 

The universe has yet again, messed her life up.

 

But that she can deal with. As mad as she is with the universe, she secretly thanks all the deities she can think of for introducing her to Jeongyeon. After getting over the initial meta-human related denial she's come to accept it wholeheartedly, with Jeongyeon being with her every step of the way.

 

The girl is probably the next best thing that's happened to her (other than her striking the lottery once) and they hit it off instantly. She's never met anyone quite like Jeongyeon in her twenty-one years of walking this earth, and it is _exhilarating_. They have so much in common its crazy, and she feels herself coming alive in a way she never did before.

 

("Oh my God, you listen to Bon Iver?" Nayeon squeals, looking through Jeongyeon's playlist while they were supposed to be studying.

 

Jeongyeon slaps her book shut. "Who doesn't? He's one of my favourites." They stare at each other incredulously before bursting into laughter.)

 

Every time another shared interest is discovered, Nayeon feels herself falling deeper into an unknown abyss - something she has yet to place - that makes her heart beat faster and her nerves tingle in anticipation. She pushes the thought away, for now.

 

It's not like she hasn't had her fair share of relationships. Most of it were hook-ups, some lasting through the week, at most a month. She's had a reputation of dropping them without batting an eyelash when things were starting to become serious (i.e feelings), and Jihyo would chide her from the sidelines whenever she watches the poor victims pick up the pieces of their heart.

 

("Why are you so scared of feelings?"Jihyo once asked her, when they were walking to Psychology, and Nayeon all but gave her the stink eye. _You know._

 

"Because its messy. Besides, what's the point of a relationship when nothing lasts forever?" 

 

Jihyo makes it a point to never ask her again.)

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

She spends the next three weeks trying to figure out the teleporting thing. Jeongyeon teaches her, like the angel she is, patient and forgiving, and gets her out of difficult situations (when she was going to teleport to the roof, but ended up in a strange neighbourhood three hours away).

 

After getting the hang of it, she's milking it for what its worth. In a five minute study break, she's able to get waffles from the shop all the way back in her neighbourhood. Going to classes now takes less than five seconds, and she reckons this must be part of the overdue success she's been waiting for. 

 

"It's like I'm becoming Peter Petrelli!" she whispers, munching on her waffle while Jeongyeon types away on her laptop. They're in the library, working on their marketing project because as fate would have it, her partner turned out to be the one and only Yoo Jeongyeon, heartthrob extraordinare, and also the object of her current obsession.

 

A small part of Nayeon can't help but be suspicious of the sudden turn in events (in her favour), but squeals in delight when Jeongyeon told her about it (only because the report was due in the next five days, and they had _a lot_ to do). Not that she needed anymore excuses to see the other girl.

 

"Uh, no? Peter Petrelli _so_ did not have teleporting powers!"

 

"No you idiot, I meant when he managed to get clam chowder from a town two hours away when he was stuck in a bad traffic jam!"

 

Nayeon feels something hit the back of her head and turns around sharply, insults ready - but halts at Jihyo's trademark look of disapproval. She picks up the offending object (a wad of paper), and opens it.

 

_SHUT UP!!!  some of us have actual studying to do_

She draws a sad-face emoticon on the already crumpled paper and throws it back to the other girl at the table behind them. It lands on Momo's head (Nayeon hi-fives Jeongyeon and they try their best to stifle their laughter), and the girl all but grunts as she continues her afternoon nap.

 

("Unnie, don't you think its weird how they're so close?" Chaeyoung muses, mid-doodle. "It's weird seeing Nayeon-unnie let in new people so quickly."

 

Jihyo hums in response. "Yeah. I honestly don't know where this is going. I mean I'm happy for her, but - it's definitely weird." She looks over at the two girls in their own world - one clearly enamoured, and the other - she doesn't know. Its like watching history repeat itself, and she sighs. There was a limit to what a best friend could do, after all. 

 

"Ten bucks she's going to break Jeongyeon's heart."

 

Now _that_ got Chaeyoung's attention, and she looks up from her doodles. "Since when do you engage in any form of gambling?"

 

Jihyo raises an eyebrow, a challenge issued, and Chaeyoung bites the bait.

 

"Ten bucks they end up together."

 

The reaction she gets out of the older girl is amusing, with her looking like a goldfish - eyes wide open - and they shake on it.

 

This was going to be interesting.)

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

It happens more often than she'd admit. 

 

Clearly, either something's wrong with her, or Jeongyeon was too much of a wuss to tell her about it. (It was about time her good luck ran out, anyway)

 

At first, she thought it was just the caffeine and the pot doing crazy things together, itching under her skin, making her feel incredibly self-assured, like she was so powerful she could break through walls and fly.

 

But often, things aren't what they seem, and Nayeon's come to realise this when Jeongyeon takes her to New Zealand for quote-unquote, the 'best fish and chips in the world'. (She isn't a fan, but for Jeongyeon, she obliges).

 

They arrive, hands clapsed tightly together, tethering to each other as Jeongyeon taught, breathing in the chilly autumn air. And then it happens - her nerves are suddenly on fire, the hair on her arms standing, blood pulsing underneath her skin -

 

The hypersensitivity intensifies with every second she's holding onto Jeongyeon's hand. Suddenly there are images flashing in her head so intense they burn behind her eyelids - her fucking Jeongyeon against the wall, so explicit and vivid she swears she could _hear_ the other girl screaming her worship as she rakes her nails down her back -

 

What the fuck?

 

She drops her hand like its been burnt, and inhales deeply.

 

"... Is everything alright?" Jeongyeon clears her throat.

 

Nayeon's too busy trying to get herself together that she misses the strange way the other girl clenches her jaw.

 

_One, two, Breathe_.

 

"Y-Yeah," she ends up saying. "Let's go! I'm hungry." Nayeon does what she thinks is her best attempt at fortifying her mental defenses, and gives Jeongyeon her best reassuring smile.

 

Thankfully, the other girl seems to buy it, matching the smile with one of her own that she's grown to like, and the sight of it extinguishes the fire in her veins a little as she walks into the diner, pushing the mental images into the recesses of her mind and focusing on the present.

 

Of course, things don't go the way she wants it to.

 

Fifteen minutes into the dinner has her feeling like spontaneously combusting, with Jeongyeon being unusually _touchy_. They're cramped up in a booth at the back, both choosing to sit at the side facing the window ("When will we ever get to see such scenery again?"), and it is a decision Nayeon regrets as soon as she sits down.

 

The fire in her veins make a comeback so strong she finds herself struggling to breathe, and every inch of her skin that Jeongyeon touched burns through her sweater, the heat coming to rest at her abdomen.

 

She's barely touched her food, thighs uncomfortably pressing together, focusing on her own breathing as she listens to Jeongyeon going on about one of Momo's embarrassing escapades, trying not to stare inappropriately. This wasn't what a good friend was supposed to be, right?

 

Friends don't stare at each other's lips. Friends definitely don't think of fucking each other into oblivion. No one with a moral compass would.

 

But Nayeon isn't _no one_ , and she most definitely isn't _everyone_. She's never wanted anyone this badly, and it's driving her crazy. The flames licking under her skin never lasted this long, and this time its as though they're intent on reducing her sanity to ashes. She digs her nails into her palms as Jeongyeon _leans_ into her as she laughs, breath tickling the shell of her ear -

 

Deep breaths, Nayeon reminds herself.

 

But suddenly there's a thumb brushing across her upper lip, and the touch burns through her paper skin, sending a jolt straight to her abdomen. Her fingers close around Jeongyeon's wrist instinctively, holding her in place, and Nayeon looks straight at Jeongyeon, eyes darkening.

 

"You had some cream there," is all the other girl says, not breaking eye contact. She's ninety-nine percent sure the predatory vibes she's giving off is reflected in the other girl's eyes.

 

It's a ticking time bomb, and her body moves before her brain catches up - she sees Jeongyeon's eyes flicker down to her lips, and it's the last straw. She yanks the other girl closer by the wrist and kisses her.

 

She sighs in relief when Jeongyeon kisses her back.

 

The other girl tastes like coffee and fries and Nayeon feels a part of herself getting sucked into a hurricane of emotions. The way the other girl licks into her mouth has her fisting Jeongyeon's sweatshirt, toes tingling.

 

Before she knows it, the other girl pulls away, and Nayeon has to reign in the urge to chase her lips because looking at Jeongyeon with spit-slicked lips and mussed hair is the fuel to her already burning self - she never knew she had any form of self-control, when it came to things she _wanted._

 

"Do you... wanna go?" Jeongyeon rasps, and Nayeon moves at a speed she never knew she was capable of; throwing more than enough cash on the table as she drags the other girl out of the diner, into the back alley where she all but pushes her into the brick wall.

 

"I've never seen you move that quickly, _unnie_ ," Jeongyeon laughs, crinkling her nose and the sight has Nayeon's heart beating a little weirdly - but is soon forgotten as the tingling in her abdomen reminds her of her _needs_.

 

"Shut up," she mumbles against the other girl's lips.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

Later, when they're lying on Jeongyeon's bed naked and spent, she looks it up on Reddit, squinting in the darkness.

 

_[+232 -52] Excessive teleportation has been reported to cause arousal in selected individuals._

"Fuck, and you never told me?" Nayeon shoves the screen in the other girl's face from where she was leaning against the headrest.

 

"Yeah well... I was going to, until you jumped me," Jeongyeon laughs, scrolling through twitter. "Who knew you had it in you?"

 

That earns her a playful slap to her shoulder, and her phone falls right on her face.

 

"Ow!" Jeongyeon rubs her nose, before reaching up to snatch the older girl's phone in retaliation. But Nayeon as always, was quicker.

 

" _Unnie_ ," she whines, before deciding on another course of action - her hand slides down the flat plane of Nayeon's stomach and she hears the other girl's breath hitch, _feels_ the muscles underneath tense and she smirks victoriously.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

They're in Psychology, and she swears Chaeyoung and Jihyo have something going on. She's seated at the aisle, with the two of them at her left, and they alternate between exchanging (not so discrete) looks and looking at her weirdly. 

 

"What?" Nayeon asks for the nth time, visibly frustrated. "Why do you guys keep looking at me like I have a third eye?"

 

Chaeyoung gulps, and returns her gaze to her laptop, while Jihyo narrows her eyes. 

 

"You slept with Jeongyeon, didn't you?"

 

Nayeon's pencil stills.

 

"What makes you think so?" She's not one to back down from a challenge. Besides, she's pretty sure she drowned her neck in concealer this morning.

 

Jihyo looks at her like she's speaking in another language. "Did you forget that we've been friends for more than half of our lives?"

 

"So what if I did?" Nayeon rolls her eyes. "She's hot, and I'm hot. Is it a crime for two hot people to sleep together?" She flips her hair as if to make a point, and laughs when it hits Jihyo's face.

 

"Urgh, I think I ate your hair," Jihyo spits, and the three of them laugh as quietly as they possibly could in a lecture. 

 

They fall into a shared silence, until -

 

"Be careful, unnie. We don't want you getting hurt, okay?"

 

Nayeon looks up to Chaeyoung's worried face, and taps her nose gently. "What's with the worry? I'm an adult, I can handle these things."

 

(She misses the look shared between Jihyo and Chaeyoung when she returns her attention to the lecture.) 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

They fall into routine - copious amounts of sex, talking, travelling the world, and Nayeon feels alive. It's a high even pot can't compare to. Maybe its because she hasn't had anything close to resembling a relationship. Not that this is a relationship, you know. Being Nayeon - she doesn't talk about it. Doesn't set boundaries or anything. 

 

Boundaries were overrated anyway.

 

Nayeon learns that Jeongyeon's kisses are like the weather - temperamental. There are days her kisses are gentle caresses of the sun, warm and cocooned, and she wonders if she might be wrong about forever. But then there are days where one of them would teleport to the other's room without warning and fuck each other senseless, tongue and teeth and nails and bruises, so demanding she couldn't even make it out of bed the next day.

  

But today was... different.

 

It took every ounce of her self-control not to teleport to Jeongyeon's room in a lecture full of people. Nayeon bolts as soon as the lecturer wraps up, into the empty hallway and pictures the younger girl - her room, her smiles, her companionship she craved after a long day of classes - she feels the familiar tugging in her gut, and suddenly she's falling -

 

and lands in front of the bed with a soft _thud_.

 

Jeongyeon looks up from her phone, and is given no time to react as Nayeon kisses her without warning, already feeling her blood singing with the usual high from teleporting. Her fingers tangle in Jeongyeon's short blonde hair, and her fogged up mind takes awhile to realise that the younger girl's kisses are _hesitant._

Persistent, she licks her way down the column of Jeongyeon's neck, until she feels hands cradling her head, pushing gently- 

 

"Unnie." 

 

Nayeon sighs, nosing the younger girl's jaw before pulling back. "What's the matter? Can't it wait?" she grumbles.

 

"Uh," Jeongyeon touches her nose, a nervous tick Nayeon's come to notice. "I spoke to Seungyeon-unnie yesterday. And uh, there's something you should know."

 

She's never seen Jeongyeon this nervous. The fire under her skin slowly fades to a dull as she watches the other girl closely.

 

"Yeah, what is it?" The hairs on her arms are standing. Her body seems to know when something bad's about to happen, and she can feel her flight instincts setting in. Whatever this was, it wasn't going to end well.

 

Jeongyeon swallows. "Remember the arousal thing? That it only happens to selected individuals?" She smooths out invisible creases on her sheets.

 

Nayeon hums, not knowing where this was going.

 

"It started happening only after I got to know you," she continues. "Apparently it only happens to soulmates."  

 

And its out there. No regrets. No take backs. 

 

 

"So," Nayeon starts. "You're saying that... I'm your soulmate?"

 

The short haired girl nods. "Remember your first teleportation? At Jackson's party?" Nayeon breaks eye contact and opts to stare at her nails. She's suddenly reminded of the whole soulmate-calling bullcrap on Reddit, and isn't sure if she likes where this conversation is going. There's a reason why she prefers denial over everything, because some things are best left untouched.

 

"You did it unknowingly, and you appeared in my room, somewhere you've clearly never been to before. It's not possible to do that, especially for a newbie," Jeongyeon continues, picking at her sheets. "Seungyeon-unnie thinks its because we're - "

 

"Okay," Nayeon interjects. "I'm gonna stop you right there."

 

This was not happening.

 

"Soulmates? You actually believe that nonsense?" Nayeon moves back. "Well, I don't, because I'm pretty sure they don't exist." 

 

It's as though she's taken candy away from a baby, with Jeongyeon looking like a kicked puppy. 

 

"Why - Why don't you believe they exist?"

 

"They _don't_ , okay?" Nayeon spits, pushing herself off the bed. "Nothing lasts forever, and I'm not about to believe some bullcrap from the internet, or just because your sister says so."

 

"You don't trust the community? You don't trust me?" The younger girl schools her face into something more foreign, something Nayeon doesn't recognise and her chest feels strangely constricted. She bites back the _yes, I do, but happy endings don't exist,_ until she's sure her tongue's about to bleed. 

 

 

It goes silent for awhile, and then -

 

"Maybe we shouldn't see each other for awhile," Jeongyeon says, staring unflinchingly at Nayeon, and Nayeon feels herself becoming numb. It's like she's detaching herself from the situation - a third party watching everything unfold. Like it should have. 

 

This is it, then. 

 

She's about to walk away from the very person that shared a universe secret with her, that made her _feel_ things she never thought she would, that made her... happy.

 

But _nothing lasts forever_  repeats in her head like a mantra, and she turns, disappearing without a trace.

 

Always a disappointment.

(She could never say no to Jeongyeon.)

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

( _she was going to confess, u moron_

_\- Momo_ )

 

She spends the night smoking away her secret stash, emptiness growing on her like a second skin. The masochist in Nayeon surfaces and feeds, and she's more than welcome to allow it the freedom it craves. 

 

_You don't deserve her,_ it says. 

 

Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, she reasons. It's eating at the hope she's kept under lock and key. Its the same reason why people are different. Everyone can't be nice. The scales would be tipped, and what would be the point in that?

 

The whole point of darkness was for people to treasure the light. Darkness was a sacrifice, for the light to be the stark contrast, to be bright and everything home. This was nature's way of balancing things out.

 

Maybe people like her didn't deserve happiness, after all. A sacrifice for the greater good. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

It's been three days. Not that Nayeon was keeping count, though.  

 

Other than that one text from Momo (Nayeon isn't surprised, Jeongyeon tells Momo everything), she hasn't seen her since. Or anyone, given how she spends two of the three days staring at the peeling paint on the ceiling, empty cans and joints littering the floor.

 

She also isn't surprised when Jihyo, armed with water and food (bless her soul) barges into her room on Day 2, not even bothering to question how the other girl managed to get the master-key card for the dorms.

 

"Oh, honey," says Jihyo. "Momo sent me."

 

Momo knows her too well. In fact, Nayeon thinks they all do - know how she needs time alone to get over this - whatever this depressing post-break-up-but-not-break-up was. Sending Jihyo was Momo's way of letting her know that her presence was missed, and was also an option to _talk_.

 

"Hi." She croaks from the bed, unmoving. From the corner of her eye, she sees Jihyo give her room a once-over, upper lip twitching in disapproval.

 

"You stink, you know," The other girl ends up saying. "Your room, too."

 

Nayeon laughs, lips cracking at the effort. It doesn't reach her eyes - a warning signal Jihyo picks up on, that things might be a little... different. 

 

(In all the years she's known the other girl - she's seen almost every side of Nayeon; from when they were table mates in elementary school, to when she watched Nayeon's heart break for the first time ever in high school. 

 

It was a senior - Jihyo doesn't even remember her name - who dumped Nayeon for some older guy from another school that she was seeing. She still remembers the way the light in Nayeon's eyes had been extinguished - the cruelty of being second best, coupled with the trauma of a virgin heartbreak, was clearly too much for a eighteen-year old.

 

She also witnessed first-hand how the other girl started building her defenses - brick by brick the innocence disappeared, lathered on with ice cold reality.)

 

"You know, maybe you should try it someday. A real relationship."

 

Nayeon snorts. "Fuck off, Jihyo."

 

"I haven't seen anyone get under your skin like this, unnie," Jihyo's voice sharpens. "You clearly like her, so why don't you actually try - "

 

"Just shut up, will you?" She almost yells. "It's not like I haven't _tried._ "

 

Has she?

 

It's not like she's spent the whole of yesterday thinking about it. About a thousand and one other ways she could have reacted, could have said -

 

But it had to be soulmates. The one thing every fibre of her being disagrees on. Could she have still tried?

 

"She said we were soulmates," Nayeon mumbles, eyes closing in defeat. "How was I not supposed to freak out, Jihyo?" 

 

"Soulmates? Because of the teleporting thing?" 

 

The way the older girl's eyes shoot open at the revelation makes Jihyo laugh. "Yeah, I noticed how quickly you travelled around campus and did some research of my own. I understand why you didn't tell anyone though, its not exactly a conversation starter." She pauses. "So, Jeongyeon can teleport too?"

 

Nayeon can only nod. She hates how Jihyo always ends up knowing everything. Even the things she tried so hard not to tell. It's unfair, she thinks. 

 

"Is the concept of soulmates really that terrifying?" Jihyo questions. "Wouldn't it be great to spend the rest of your life with someone you're destined to be with?" 

 

She doesn't answer. Another pause, and then - 

 

"Maybe you should think about fighting for your own happiness, unnie." The other girl continues. "It may be terrifying to let go of your fears, but sometimes it might be worth it."

 

Nayeon sits up. "You always know what to say, don't you."

 

Jihyo only smiles.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

On the third day, Nayeon comes to a self-realisation of her own - that things might be different. That she might be way deeper in this mess than she thought she was. 

 

Throughout the day (after Jihyo and Chaeyoung showed up and dragged her to class), she feels herself craving for Jeongyeon. It's sickening, the way the universe has to remind her of what she _chose_ to let go of, in the same way she finds herself thinking of the short haired girl in almost everything she does, and all Nayeon wants to do is switch off her emotions and wait for the darkness to swallow her whole.

 

Her body is strangely rejecting everyone else's touches. When Chaeyoung clings onto her arm as per usual, she feels hollow, and her mind wanders to where it shouldn't - Jeongyeon's warm body, how she smiled, how she _breathed_ - 

 

And she wonders if this is what 'soulmates' were supposed to mean. How you can't exist without the other, how every fucking thing reminds you of the other person, and how your chest grows tighter with every second you don't see them. How your heart skips a little when you see them smile, coffee dates and sunshine warming your fingertips, how the nights feel strangely colder and longer without them, leaving you alone to the monsters under your bed.

 

But if forever doesn't exist - because people are volatile, then why did she feel so... full? When she was with Jeongyeon?  

 

Then it hits her - what if she could never feel this way again?  Was she willing to forego this emotional satisfaction that borderlined on magic?

 

The realisation is bone-chilling, and makes her press pause on life - Nayeon ends up bailing on her night class, citing a lack of sleep to which she knows Jihyo sees through (but doesn't call her out on it, thank God).

 

In a flash she's back in her room, and with shaky hands she rolls up her worst joint in the history of joints, desperate for something, _anything_ to calm her down. Her hands reach for the lighter and she sees herself in the flickering flame - weak, useless, fighting to stay afloat -

 

She inhales, finding immediate solace in the slow burn of her lungs. Her fingers hold onto the joint like a lifeline, a warm filter to the harsh reality and she revels in the way her mind detaches from the outside world, forming its own bubble.

 

It takes sometime to kick in; Nayeon watches the night sky from her window, watches the lone swimmer clocking in laps - suddenly everything seems funny. The swimmer's arms sticking out weirdly, the water splashing with every stroke - its so _funny_ she finds herself doubled over in giggles. 

 

The room spins, and she's sprawled out on the floor. The flaky pieces of paint flutter with the wind, and she laughs at how cute they look. Small and tiny, just like Chaeyoung. But they're pale yellow, and Chaeyoung doesn't have pale hair. Only Jeongyeon.

 

Jeongyeon.

 

The bubble bursts, and she's left all alone, chasing the flecks of happiness spilling out. But they're intangible, she realises, when they slip through her fingers, and reality is the pain from the burn in her lungs - it seems to reach her eyes, and it _stings_  so badly the tears come out. 

 

Nayeon doesn't sob; its pathetic, ugly and definitely beneath her. The tears keep coming, with every bend of her memory - Jeongyeon smiling, Jeongyeon laughing, Jeongyeon, and the longing she thought she sealed up bursts through the seams. 

 

Here is where things get weird: Her blood calls out for Jeongyeon. She doesn't know if it was the pot (again, a reason to stop smoking altogether), but she swears she hears the blood roaring in her ears and her body finds the answer to her loneliness.

 

This time, she doesn't register the tugging. She sheds her jacket, and suddenly she's in Jeongyeon's room. It's dark. Apparently teleporting while high and in the dark isn't a good idea, she thinks, as she crashes into the cupboard.

 

The pain doesn't register, but what she registers is this - the sight of Jeongyeon startling awake, sleep mussed hair and in one of her old shirts - the honey she craved so badly filling up the cavity in her chest. 

 

"Nayeon?" The younger girl croaks, squinting in the dark.

 

She crosses the room in two long strides, slides under the younger girl's covers, burrowing into the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry," she mutters. "I'm - I'm sorry." _I'm so sorry_ is all that she can think of, because it was her fault, her _fucking_ fault, she who refused to let go of her own demons, and hurt Jeongyeon.

 

Jeongyeon tenses, and Nayeon can't breathe.

 

"I'm so sorry," she repeats, and thank God she feels the other girl start to relax. There's an arm around her. Jeongyeon reaches out to brush her hair out of her face - tender, soft, stroking her hair - the last puzzle piece Nayeon's waited so long to find, to figure out. The tears come again when she realises that there's nothing more than this she wants, realising how much of a fool she was, pushing away Jeongyeon -

 

"Hey," Jeongyeon says, so quietly it almost gets drowned out by how loudly her heart was beating. Nayeon feels a finger under her chin and she looks up. "It's okay."

 

The tears in her vision gives Jeongyeon the halo she deserves, and Nayeon's reminded of when she first met the other girl, and how she still manages to look so _pretty_.

 

Jeongyeon kisses her. It's delicate and salty - the small sigh that leaves the younger girl's mouth has her dreaming of forever, a small ball of light neither of them sees and she cries into the kiss. Nayeon's wanted this so much, so desperate, afraid that she might never get to do this again - pulls Jeongyeon impossibly closer, breaths mingling as she pours all her unspoken apologies into the kiss. 

 

The way Jeongyeon pushes her down gently tells her it's enough, that Jeongyeon understands, nibbling at Nayeon's lips in the dark. There are hands sliding underneath her shirt, so gentle it has Nayeon trembling, clutching at Jeongyeon while the other girl whispers comfort and promises into her skin, marking it with  _it's okay_  and _i'm here_ , and Nayeon has never felt more safe.

 

She comes, arching up into the cocoon that is Jeongyeon, the younger girl tracing patterns on her skin. It's heartwarming - the way the younger girl treats her like glass; fragile, to be handled with care - its in the way Jeongyeon strokes her hair, wiping away her tears, a constant reassurance Nayeon never knew she needed. 

 

"It's okay." She feels it being whispered into her hair, and she comes down from her high, body a boneless mass that is already curving into Jeongyeon. Exhaustion hits her like a freight train, coupled with the impending crash from the earlier high - she falls asleep in Jeongyeon's embrace, the warmth singing her to sleep.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

"Hey."

 

Four heads swivel to look at her, but only one smiles. Nayeon grins in return, bending down to kiss Jeongyeon's cheek before sitting beside the girl.

 

Momo whoops loudly, clapping Jeongyeon on the back as Jeongyeon goes uncharacteristically red, and Nayeon thinks she could get used to this.

 

"So does this mean you guys are official?" Chaeyoung asks, glint in her eyes as she waggles her eyebrows at Jihyo, who only shakes her head.

 

Jeongyeon intertwines their fingers, and Nayeon still hasn't got over how _easy_ they fit together - as thought it was meant to be. A part of her is still afraid at the notion of forever, but when Jeongyeon gives her hand a small squeeze, she thinks it might be doable. 

 

"Yeah, I guess," Nayeon laughs, squeezing Jeongyeon's hand in return, ignoring Momo's fake-puking at the side.

 

She narrows her eyes at the way Chaeyoung jumps up, eyes disappearing in happiness, almost knocking her tray over as the small girl sticks her hand out in front of Jihyo, who begrudgingly hands her a ten-dollar bill.

 

"You," Nayeon starts. "Bet on us?"

 

Chaeyoung's smile turns sheepish, before disappearing altogether at Nayeon's icy glare. "Um. I just remembered I have a - a project meeting to get to. I gotta um." She doesn't even finish her sentence, grabbing her bag and making a run for it. 

 

"You gotta stop scaring the poor girl, Nayeon," Momo gasps, amidst laughter. "She's too precious."

 

Nayeon laughs, before throwing her sandwich wrapper at Momo. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

"Technically, you didn't lose the bet," Nayeon says, when its just the two of them, Momo and Jeongyeon gone for their classes (after prying herself away from Jeongyeon with much difficulty). "I broke Jeongyeon's heart, and you know it."

 

Jihyo laughs, smile dancing on her lips. "But Chaeyoung doesn't."

 

That has Nayeon's jaw dropping. "Oh my God, you let her win? You _like_ her, don't you?"

 

The other girl shrugs, seemingly nonchalant - but Nayeon sees through the false bravado. "It made her happy."

 

"Park Jihyo, I swear - if you don't tell me what's going on I'm going to have to force a confession out of you - "

 

Jihyo bolts, screaming hysterically and Nayeon naturally gives chase. She's content - she has friends who care about her, friends who support her, and a soulmate who literally makes up for everything she's missing - there's nothing more she could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> writing is tiring. also i couldn't get the goblin teleporting thing out of my head, so yes :)


End file.
